


Confessions

by NorahBolt56



Series: Alternate Universe [4]
Category: Remington Steele (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2018-12-19
Packaged: 2019-09-22 19:45:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17065931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NorahBolt56/pseuds/NorahBolt56
Summary: This work is part of my RS fanfic 'alternate universe' series (ie. where Harry (Remington) goes back to his first love (who is also the mother of his child). If you haven't already, suggest you read Steeling the Past - Part 1 &2, to give you some context for this work. In this part of the series, Harry and Kate are not long reunited and he forces her to face up to the past so they can move on and share a future together..





	Confessions

A few months after getting back together and Harry moving in with Kate and their son, Harry Jnr, Kate and Harry took advantage of a night alone with each other as Harry Jnr had been invited to stay over a friend’s place, to go out to dinner. They chose a restaurant located a bit out of the city set in an old mansion on an estate, away from the prying eyes of the paparazzi.

They were shown to their table and ordered some wine then looked at the menu. “What are you going to order Harry?” Kate asked. When he didn’t answer immediately Kate looked at him – he was staring at the menu, a hand over his mouth, looking rather distracted which she thought was a bit odd. “Harry?” she asked again. “Huh.. what? Sorry Katie did you say something?” he replied, snapped out of his reverie. Kate regarded him for a moment then repeated her question, “I said what are you going to order?”

“Hmm – I’m not sure,” Harry replied rather absently as he tugged on his earlobe, a tell-tale sign that Kate knew well that he was nervous about something. Also, normally he would have made his mind up within ten seconds of looking at the menu, enjoying his food as he did and having a fair amount of culinary knowledge that he had acquired over the years. At that Kate grabbed his menu off him and put it on the table as he looked at her with some surprise. In reply to his questioning look Kate said as she gave him a knowing look, “Okay spit it out Harry. What’s up?”

Harry paused for a moment then looked at her. “We need to talk Katie,” he stated seriously as Kate looked at him a little warily. “What about?” 

“About us,” he replied, his unwavering gaze holding hers.

“What about us?” Kate asked as she felt a knot forming in her stomach, wondering if he was regretting getting back together with her. At that Harry sighed, knowing she wasn’t going to like it but he knew it had to be done. Ever since they had got back together she had been reluctant to talk about the past and had shut him down or changed the subject everytime he had tried to broach it. But he knew if they were truly going to be able to move on they needed to deal with the wounds of the past so they could be fully healed.

Kate immediately went on the defensive, her self-preservation instincts kicking in. “You’re not happy?” she said, more as a statement then a question, fighting to hide the emotional catch in her voice. “Let me guess – you want to go back to playing detective,” she threw at him a little sarcastically as Harry looked at her in shock, wondering how she could think that. “No, that’s not it at all,” he reassured her as he shook his head vehemently.

“Well what then?’ Kate demanded.

“I need to know Katie,” Harry replied.

“Need to know what??” Kate retorted, starting to get frustrated.

Harry hesitated then stated gently, “I need to know what it was like for you, what you went through, when I left and having Junior on your own.”

At that Kate stopped short. She didn’t want to get into this with him, especially not then and there. As far as Kate was concerned the past should stay where it belonged, in the past. She had no desire to drag up all those old hurts again, that she had buried so deep, so long ago in order to survive - she couldn’t, she wouldn’t, no matter how much he tried to get her to.

“We’re not talking about this now Harry,” she replied as she gave him a determined look and with a finality to her voice that he normally knew better than to argue with but he wasn’t going to let this go – it was too important. He shot her a frustrated look of his own then replied, “Yes we bloody well are O’Casey.”

“Are you ready to order?” a waiter then came up to the table and asked them, as their eyes never leaving each other, they both barked “No!” at him as he apologized and went scurrying off.

“No we’re not!” Kate stated adamantly as she threw her napkin down on the table and getting up, stormed out of the restaurant. “Katie – come back here!” Harry called after her, his anger rising to meet hers as he quickly threw some cash on the table to cover the wine then chased after her, muttering under his breath, “Bloody stubborn, pig-headed woman!”

She had a bit of a head start on him as she stormed off across the grounds outside the restaurant but with his long-legged stride he easily caught up with her. “Katie!” he called after her as she kept walking. “Just leave me alone Harry!” she exclaimed, refusing to look at him. “No – never again,” he replied adamantly as he continued following her. She paused for a moment, his statement stopping her in her tracks a little, but then stubbornly kept on walking.

“Katie – please!” he pleaded with her. “Listen to me - you’ve got to face the past before you can let it go Katie. You need to get this out of your system once and for all.”

“What – are you a therapist or something now Harry?” Kate shot back at him as he was hitting too close to the mark.

He stood there for a moment as she continued walking away from him, shaking his head at her, his jaw clenched. “Now who’s running away eh?” he threw at her, knowing that would get to her, his blue eyes blazing. At that she stopped, her emotions threatening to boil over as she finally whirled around to face him. “Well you’d know all about that wouldn’t you?’ she threw at him as she felt 14 years of repressed anger & hurt suddenly bubbling to the surface. Well if he wanted to hear it she’d give it to him, she then decided.

“I guess so,” he stated, his voice flat. He knew it was going to be hard to hear and he was a little worried he was opening a Pandora’s box, not knowing what he was about to unleash in her, but he pressed on nonetheless, feeling this was something they had to do. At that Kate glared at him and started advancing towards him.

“Oh you guess so? You want to know what it was like for me? Do you really want to go there?’ Kate yelled angrily at him as he looked at her and nodded. “Yes I do – I need to go there Katie, we need to go there,” he affirmed as she shook her head, an almost hysterical laugh escaping her lips. “Okay Harry I’ll tell you what it was like – it was hell! There – are you happy now? To wake up and realise you had gone just like that – with no warning, no nothing but a goddamn note you gutless son of a bitch! You know what I did that morning? I raced over to Daniel’s place and I tore your bedroom apart – trying to find some trace of you, but there was nothing! You robbed me even of that!” Kate snapped, as the painful memories came back to her, her voice shaking with emotion as Harry stood silently, taking it all in. And as much as her words hurt him, he knew it was nothing compared to the hurt he had inflicted on her all those years ago.

“Why the hell aren’t you saying anything Harry?” Kate then demanded, his silence frustrating her even more. “Because you’re right Katie,” he sighed, his expression anguished as he ran a hand over his face. Kate turned away from him again as she ran a hand threw her hair, trying to fight back her tears - she knew her words were hurting him, but once she started she couldn’t stop. This was exactly why she didn’t want to drag up the past – she was afraid of hurting him, of seeing that look on his face, that wounded little boy look, and knowing it was because of her. It was almost more than she could take.

“Harry please, I don’t want to do this anymore - I don’t want to talk about it,” she stated, her voice suddenly quiet, but still he was undeterred. “No -not until you’ve told me everything. What about when you found out you were pregnant?’ he pressed her further.

Kate took a breath, trying but failing to calm herself down. “You really want to know?’ she challenged him, hoping he would back down but he was having none of it. “Yes I do,” he confirmed, his intense gaze never leaving hers. “Fine – have it your way,” she retorted a little sarcastically. “What would you like to know first? How Miles found me curled up in a little ball on my bathroom floor, sobbing my eyes out when I first suspected I was pregnant? Or how I called you every name under the sun when I gave birth to our son with no one there by my side? And that hurt like hell by the way, in case you were wondering! Or how about all those sleepless nights I had with him when he was a baby with no one to help me? You know one night I even hallucinated you were there with us, that you’d come back to us, but it was nothing but a dream. Or how about how I had to console our son when other kids at school teased him about not having a dad?’ Kate threw at him, her last statement really getting to Harry as he felt a wave of guilt and regret wash over him.

“Katie..I..I’m so sorry for what I put you and Junior through..” Harry found his voice, although it was choked with emotion at witnessing the full extent of her raw pain. He moved closer to her and went to touch her but she put her hands up to stop him, knowing if he touched her she would completely break down. And Kate O’Casey did not break down, she told herself, she was strong, she did what she had to do to survive.  Undeterred though, Harry reached out a hand and grabbed one of hers. “Let me go Harry!” Kate protested, but her voice didn’t sound as convincing as she wanted it to. “No never – never again,” he replied adamantly as his eyes held hers and he went to pull her into his arms.

“No!” she fought him, wrenching her hand out of his grasp, scared that her resolve was about to break, but he knew her better than anyone and he knew exactly what she was trying to do. “Katie.. it’s ok .. I’m here now..,” he tried to reassure her but she was beyond rational thinking. Instead she started pummeling his chest, her anger and hurt erupting. “You broke my heart Harry! Why did you do that?? Left me with just a note for Christ’s sake! I deserved better than that!” she yelled at him as she hit him hard, her tears streaming down her face as he took it all, knowing she had to get it out.

And then finally when she seemed to be running out of steam a bit he gently grabbed her wrists and pulled her against him. “Because I was scared Katie – scared you would leave me, one way or the other,” he confessed. “I was a young, cowardly fool and I have regretted hurting you and leaving you ever since that day,” he added as he fought back his own tears. “You’ve been so strong all these years Katie – now let me be strong for you,” he murmured and the love and regret Kate found in his eyes when she looked at him finally broke her, and she began to sob like she hadn’t since that day he had left her or since the day she discovered she was pregnant and alone. She cried until she had no more tears left to cry as he enveloped her in his strong arms and held her to him and she clung to him for dear life, needing his strength and his love to heal her.

When she’d finally composed herself a bit Harry tenderly kissed the top of her head and murmured, “Let’s get you home eh?”. Kate nodded silently against his chest, suddenly unable to find her voice. Harry put a protective arm around her and guided her back to their awaiting car. He opened the door for her on the passenger side then once she was in he hopped into the driver’s seat, stealing a glance at her as he did so. He could tell she was still distracted as she didn’t raise as much as an eyebrow at him driving her Maserati, which she normally would be rather reluctant to let him (or anyone else for that matter) do.

As Harry started the car and began driving home, he rested a hand on Kate’s leg when he wasn’t shifting gears. She acknowledged the gesture with a grateful smile as she covered his hand with her own, marveling not for the first time, at how well he knew her. How he instinctively knew she needed his reassuring touch at that moment.

Once they got home Harry took Kate by the hand as they went inside. He led her towards the kitchen saying, “How about I fix us something to eat eh, seeing as we didn’t end up eating at the restaurant? You must be starving,” as he opened the fridge to see what they had. “Harry..” Kate called his name as she watched him, knowing what she needed, and it wasn’t dinner. “Yes Katie?” he asked as he turned around to face her. Kate looked at him for a moment then took a step closer to him, her eyes never leaving his as she said, “Make love to me.”

Harry’s intent gaze met hers as he regarded her for a moment, his mind going back over the frequent arguments they had had when they were younger and how they had often made up just like that after their strong passion had been flared. But this time he knew it was something more – Kate needed him, she needed his touch to reassure her that he would never leave her again, that he would always be there for her and their son. That he loved and cherished her more than any other woman he ever had or ever would.

With that thought in mind he closed the remaining distance between them and gently cradling her face in his hands, he kissed her with such an exquisite tenderness it brought tears to Kate’s eyes. He then drew his lips away from hers and looked at her with a little concern as she looked both emotionally and physically drained, and asked, “Are you sure you’re feeling up to that? Maybe you should have something to eat first Katie”.

“I don’t want dinner Harry – I want you. I need you,” she replied adamantly, her voice raw with emotion. As if to reinforce her words she pulled him back towards her and began kissing him like her life depended on it. Harry felt himself instinctively responding to her with just as much urgency, the emotion of the night overwhelming him a bit too but then he managed to tear his mouth away from hers long enough to murmur softly, “Take it easy Katie – I’m got going anywhere. Let’s take our time eh?”. With that he scooped her into his arms and carried her upstairs to their bedroom, kissing her all the way.

 

He gently laid her back on the bed, his eyes never leaving hers as he began kissing her again, soft, slow kisses that were as arousing as they were tender. “You’re so beautiful Katie,” Harry murmured as his kisses trailed down her neck and she ran a hand through his hair. “Harry..” Kate went to reply but he silenced her with another kiss. “Sshh now,” he whispered, his voice low and sexy then added with a grin, “I know what you want Katie – you don’t have to tell me.” Kate smiled back at him as she thought to herself, you certainly do Harry, as he continued caressing her, tracing a hand down her neck and lower. He momentarily got up to strip off his shirt, the look of love and desire in his eyes mirroring hers.

Kate ran a hand over his chest as he caught her hand in his and kissed it. “You know you’re the only woman for me don’t you Katie?” he asked, his eyes searching hers for the answer he needed. Kate nodded as he traced the back of his hand along one of her cheeks. “Say it Katie,” he urged her gently. As he had done for her, she covered his hand with one of her own and kissed it then whispered, “I know.” Harry smiled at her, those two words warming his heart. He needed her to know what she meant to him, that she was the love of his life and that he would never leave her again.

He then proceeded to show her through his actions, which in his book always spoke louder than words, exactly how much he loved and needed her. He slowly undressed her as well as removing the rest of his own clothes, taking control as he covered her body with his own, all the while whispering sweet nothings in her ear and kissing and caressing her all over, touching her in the way he knew she liked. Kate bit her lower lip as she watched him and caressed him back, and a flame of desire lit up his blue eyes. “You’ve no idea how much that turns me on when you do that babe,” he breathed as a grin crossed Kate’s face. “Really?’ she asked as he nodded with a grin of his own. “It’s so goddamn sexy Katie – just like the rest of you,” he murmured as his mouth found hers again and he whispered against her lips, ”I only want you Katie.” In response Kate trailed a hand down his body, keen to give Harry as much pleasure as he was giving her, but he knew if she touched him there he wouldn’t be able to wait and he wanted to take her over the edge first.

He then grinned at her and moved lower down her body out of her reach, trailing kisses over her breasts and stomach and lower as Kate arched against him. As he aroused her, Kate could tell she was rapidly nearing the peak of her pleasure. ”Harry.. close.. please..,” she managed to get out between ragged breaths, wanting him there with her when she went over the edge. When he didn’t reply and kept on doing what he was so expertly doing, she grabbed his head and pulled it up a little. “Harry..” she breathed, her eyes meeting his. “Ladies first - let me do this for you Katie,” he whispered with a twinkle in his blue eyes, as she surrendered to him and as he began to feel her tremble he urged her gently, his voice soft, “That’s it  - let go luv.”

As she hit the peak Harry pulled himself up and as their bodies merged into one it felt to both of them as if their hearts and souls were merging as well, the hurts of the past dissolving to clear the way for their future life together. As he moved within her, Harry took Kate to the heights again before she’d even come back down to earth, as she pulled him closer to her. As he felt her body’s response to him Harry finally let himself go as well, burying himself in the woman he loved more than life itself, feeling like they had finally come full circle from that fateful night just over fourteen years ago when he had made love to her for what he had thought then to be the last time. He remembered how he had committed to memory every last part of her that night, before foolishly leaving her the next morning – his actions having more of an impact than either of them had realized at the time. He had certainly left her with something to remember him by he, thought a little ruefully – neither of them remembering to use any protection that night which resulted in Kate conceiving a son, his son. And she had gone through her pregnancy, and childbirth then raising Harry Junior on her own for 13 years without him – it was no wonder she had all these emotions inside her which had finally been released that night, he thought. But as Harry looked down at her, both of them catching their breath, Kate reached up a hand to lovingly brush a lock of hair off his forehead and smiled a dazzling smile at him, her green eyes shining with her love for him and in that moment he knew she was going to be alright and they were going to be alright.


End file.
